Sibling rivalry

How can something so tiny cause so much trouble? Moira turned 1 yesterday, and she's driving her older brother, Donovan, to distraction. She gets into his toys, she steals his thunder. This is not what he expected when he heard he was getting a little sister.

We can see he's frustrated. A few weeks ago, he asked if I couldn't just put Moira back in my tummy. (But honey, she just won't fit!) A few days ago, I asked him to stop teasing his sister. ("But Mom," he said, "It's my favorite thing to do!")

Her birthday was the final straw. A whole day to celebrate this little whirling dynamo? No way!

And suddenly, I got it. My husband and I are both older siblings. We remember the angst. So we talked to Donovan this morning. Yes, little brothers or sisters can be a big pain. Yes, they get into your stuff. We remember. But ... they do grow up. And they get more fun. We promised. After all, our little brothers were the same way.

Welcome, attitude change. A few hours later, he told me, "Momma, I don't want to tease Moira anymore." He's giving her big time love. Hugs and kisses. Saying he loves her. Was it really that easy?

Now it's time for round two. Donovan's birthday tomorrow, and he'll have a day all for him to celebrate Number 4. Let's hope the truce holds.

Work it out

My kids started the day as they do most every other: with a fight.

I have a sibling and we bickered. We also knew we were in charge of working through our disagreement. Being able to sort out who gets the blue-handled scissors is first - and for how long - is no small feat in this household. But my rule is if I have to intervene, the object of the fight is mine. Works pretty well to maintain squabbles.

My goal isn't to end up with 15 or 20 odd toys tucked onto the top shelf of my closet by day's end. I want my kids to understand how to work through their own problems. I'm hoping they learn to work it out before my shelf breaks.