The Waiting Game

My three-year-old best exemplifies what most of the rest of us are thinking. Her body will start to quiver and she'll shout, "But I REALLY want it!"

The wait for something truly important always seems horrendously long. Five minutes, three days, a month...dragging out a much-anticipated present, promotion or even interview makes for such harrowing thoughts. And I have to admit, there is a part of me that wants to shout just as much as my preschooler. But, I have learned that wanting does not mean I will actually get something. And my drive to accomplish a goal has been tempered - out of necessity - by some tiny fleck of patience.

I just hope I have enough (patience that is) for this next go-round of "I want!" Because this time there are real consequences to not achieving my goal.

Just a little patience...

Yeah. The song by Guns N' Roses has been running through my head all morning. It's been a trying week: We adopted a dog Saturday, the kids went back to school, my husband has multiple major deadlines and I had to finish up a big project on Tuesday. So patience - and a clean house - have been in short supply. Hence my preoccupation with Axl Rose.

The sad part is I'm stressed about good things. We have enough work to pay our bills, our kids are in safe, educational environments and our new puppy will offer years of love, affection and protection. What would I do if there really was something to be stressed about? It's a question I have to stop and ask myself often. My kids are healthy - I have a few friends with very sick children. My husband and I enjoy each others' company - I have friends in rocky or failing marriages. Life is good; in fact, it could be a whole lot worse. So, Axl, I'm going to keep on humming your tune until it sinks in. Just a little patience....yeah.....

Puzzled

I've never really enjoyed jigsaw puzzles. There have always been other, most exciting activities I could pursue. Like organizing my cookbooks by genre and author.

One of my kids is a puzzle fanatic. So I've learned to like puzzles. Actually, I think puzzles are a great toy - and not just for kids. Puzzles teach geometry, spacial reasoning and (what I think is the most important of all) patience. Even if it's a small puzzle, say 100 pieces, it still takes a while to sit down and put it together. Bigger puzzles - and the 3-D versions - can take days or weeks. I think this deferred gratification is fabulous. With so much knowledge digitized and available in real-time, it's an important lesson to realize you can't have everything now.

Patience is one of those key skills that few people have and most of us have to cultivate. I am not a patient person by nature. Having kids has forced me to re-evaluate my get-it-done-this-second mentality. I've learned to slow down, take deep breaths and focus on my kids, not the task of raising them. Deferring gratification is also necessary for building wealth: When it comes to investing, you have to take a long-term view. Day-trading isn't going to grow my portfolio, but picking some good stocks to hold for years will.

If this is a skill you need to hone, buy or pull out a 500-piece puzzle. The time spent is relaxing and the result - whenever it comes - is worth the work.