Buy more, be less happy

While listening to the radio this morning, a woman was talking about a variety of studies that show the more consumer-oriented a person is, the less happy the person becomes. The perfect example is tweens and young teens. Almost all their self worth is tied up in what they wear and if they have the latest iPhone app. But America itself is no longer an uber-happy place to be. We rank as one of the least happy countries in the world. Now that's depressing.

You may be asking why. Part of the reason is we, as a society, work longer hours than we have in decades. We spend time "socializing" via the Internet or sitting in a room watching TV - maybe with a bag of chips for company.

We've forgotten how to be with people. We've forgotten how to connect and enjoy everything from the arts to a walk with a dear friend. Life doesn't have to be expensive to be rich. I've been reading my daughter the Little House on the Prairie series; in one of the books the whole town participates in Literaries. The town laughs together, enjoying the comradery of snowy evenings. I live in a lovely community that plans lots of activities, but I'm nowhere near that connected to my neighbors. And that's a shame.

When was the last time you spent a day - OK, an hour - with someone just for the fun of it? I plan to change that right now.

Your best friend hates Facebook

Social networking. Isn't it just a fancy word for a lot of computer on computer action? It's a sexy title for what amounts to trumped up interfaces that allow you to post comments and pictures on the Web.

Don't get me wrong, I actually like it. I'm an introvert, and all of my friends will tell you they have to drag me out of my solitude periodically because I'm likely to hunker down with my computer and rot there.

My husband, on the other hand, thinks Facebook is the biggest, weirdest waste of a good computer he's ever seen. He's the tech-savvy member of our family, and he can usually find the solution to just about anyone's computer problem. But he's not so keen on the artificial world of social networking. A friend request from a third-grade lunch pal fills him with bewilderment.

Me? I'm tickled. I love to see what happened to my best friend in second grade who moved away. It puts a smile on my face to see pictures of friends and family all over the world, from Alaska to Japan and back again.

And here's the really weird part: My real, live book club plans all of our in-person meetings on Facebook.

Sure, it can be fake and weird and stalkerish sometimes. But sometimes it just works.

Seize the moment

Laughter, little secrets, a renewed connection - these are just some of the benefits of making time with friends. Last night, I met up with four other women for cocktails. Our cocktail hour ran a little long; five hours later, I was pulling into the driveway. But you know something, that's the way it should be: Losing track of time may be just as important as always being prompt. It means you're having fun, you're connecting.

Girl time is more than just having fun. When we talk and interact with others, we're happier and less stressed. There's even research documenting our girl-friend phenomenon. Yeah, there's always something else we probably should be doing: Kids, husbands, house cleaning, that one last assignment and even laundry take precedence over fun. But it's shared moments like last night - with the fruity drinks and the hours of laughter - I'm going to remember a lot longer than whether my floors were mopped.

Regina Brett of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio once wrote a column titled 45 Lessons Life Taught Me. Here are her top four:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

What will you do for yourself today?