What are they learning?

My son loves school. And he's lucky to go to a great preschool with the best record in our area. It's close to our house, affordable, and his teachers are often elementary school teachers who choose to work part time to be around for their own children.

What I'm not so crazy about: the culture. When my son attended day care full time at the federal building where my husband works, he had friends from almost every culture and economic background. At his current school, it's so homogenous most the parents live within blocks of each other and even own the same brand of minivan.

Another reminder came today in the mail: an invitation to a designer birthday party. For a five year old. It's all a little crazy. And I worry about the other signs he'll see from these peers in the future. What will he say when we ask him to share a clunker car with his sister while his friends drive newer, fancier cars? Will he expect a cell phone and other status symbols?

I'm proud of the modest upbringing my parents provided. And certainly I had many more advantages than my own parents did growing up. My husband and I feel lucky to pass on even better opportunities to our children. But when's enough, enough?

The hated budget

I wrote it. Budget. Who wants to think about how much they spend? Wasn't it nicer when we could simply whip out a credit card and pretend that we had unlimited funds? Well, actually, no.

I'm the worrier in our household. I'm also the most Type A, which means I need to know where our funds are going and why. I know the Fed is now claiming the economy is on the mend, but it sure doesn't feel like it from right here. In fact, there's quite a bit that feels uncomfortable. A friend of ours is out of work - and just had his first child. Another friend's income is off 50% from last year. We've taken a few cuts ourselves. Which is why it's so much more important to budget.

I like to think of a budget not so much of what I cannot spend but as what I can. Clearly, mortgages, insurance and water bills must all be paid. But do I really want those new shoes or another cute rain coat for my daughter? Maybe not so much when I realize it'll mean I run short on groceries. Budgets are simply line items - like buckets of cash. Some items are fixed and others are flexible. The key is to never put too much in any one bucket. I'm not saying I do this well most of the time. I'm just saying it's nice to know that I can be in control of my finances if I want to be. And right now, I don't just want to. I need to.

So I'm dusting off my old budget and relearning how to be a more responsible spender. Maybe my kids will notice.