The Waiting Game

My three-year-old best exemplifies what most of the rest of us are thinking. Her body will start to quiver and she'll shout, "But I REALLY want it!"

The wait for something truly important always seems horrendously long. Five minutes, three days, a month...dragging out a much-anticipated present, promotion or even interview makes for such harrowing thoughts. And I have to admit, there is a part of me that wants to shout just as much as my preschooler. But, I have learned that wanting does not mean I will actually get something. And my drive to accomplish a goal has been tempered - out of necessity - by some tiny fleck of patience.

I just hope I have enough (patience that is) for this next go-round of "I want!" Because this time there are real consequences to not achieving my goal.

Waiting by the phone

Over the past couple of weeks, I made a real push as a freelancer. I've sent out at least a dozen pitches to new, existing and previous clients, trying to entice them to run an article on my ideas. There's a high that comes with a well-turned phrase; the hope - shimmying up my spine - that soon, soon the editor will call.

Then reality sets in.

It's turnover week. Magazine's have slashed their budgets in the hope of holding on to the "recovery" scheduled for 2010. There are more freelancers and less staffer; more freelancers and less outlets. This is not the ideal time to be looking for new clients.

So I work on the projects I have and find myself checking my email way, way too often. Like I did when I was 16 and I hoped a certain boy would ask me to prom. That didn't happen. I was crushed. And I did not like the boy who ended up as my prom date.

I just hope I have better luck with the editors.