The Balancing Act

Why is it so hard? Kids, husband, dog, activities, work, cooking, cleaning...the list is endless.

Many books have been written about it. Many experts have pontificated. Yet I don't feel any closer to figuring it all out now than I did before I read everything on the subject.

I think the problem is that, as a society, we've created this impossible belief that women can be full-time mothers, sexy and understanding wives, and smart, capable individuals. Indeed, we can be all these things. Just not at the exact same time.

I'd really like to have a discussion about being an individual; what's important to me may not be to you. That's OK. In fact, that's good. As long as we all agree that we want to raise our kids right and we want to have a strong family, then how we get there is moot.

Right?

We also need to cut ourselves some slack. I mean both moms AND dads. Dads are doing so much more with their kids, so much more around the house and still working full time. They are giving a lot to the relationship. We need to remember that.

We also need to remember that it's OK to not want to be a full time professional, or a full time mother or not be able to seamlessly blend the work-at-home thing. You know what? Kids - especially young, needy kids - make working from home hard. When they are fussy, they make both parents' edgy. And usually kids aren't the neatest roommates.

Balancing family with careers is a trick. Some people do it extremely well - with grace and dignity. I am not one of those people. I find it messy, frustrating and sometimes downright awful. But I wouldn't give up my family and I NEED the adult outlet. So I better get better at balancing.

Lift each other up

As I was thinking about the post, "Surround Yourself With Supporters," I couldn't help remembering it's more than making sure you surround yourself with those who care about you and support you. It's about being that person to others.

That's been one of my primary goals for this blog: to create a place for women to support each other. Because we're all perfectionists. We're all doing too much, taking on one thing too many, and picturing everyone else doing it so much better.

So I'm going to make an effort to remember the special women in my life every day.

These are the women in my family, who share their love and concern about my marriage and my family; the women in my book club, who are friends, colleagues, and fellow readers; the women in my writer's group, who are writers, wives, and mothers; and the mothers of my children's friends, who work to be teachers and supporters every day.

Today, my goal is to be the woman others want in their lives.