What matters most

Warning: Rant in progress

When I was a kid, there was a family down the block from us with children close to my age. They seemed like the perfect family: two parents, two kids, a girl and a boy. My brother and I used to play with the kids, although I can't recall their names anymore. They're one of the many things that have vanished from my mind with the passage of time.

One thing I do remember, though, is how their family fell apart.

This seemingly normal family collapsed so suddenly it was shocking. The mother decided she'd married and had children to young, and left to "find herself."

First off, I feel like there was a period in the late 80's where this happened a lot. I'm not sure if that's just an impression I hold because of this family or whether it was a trend to leave your family.

But as an adult, I can't help finding myself condemning that woman. If she needed to leave her marriage, then I support her. But to leave your children—in my opinion, unconscionable. Because those children didn't ask for their mother to have children before she was ready. They weren't clambering at her conscious before—or apparently, even after—their birth.

Dads often get the bad rap for ditching a family. Worse is when they leave their families and start new ones, abandoning their children as if they were the leftover sofa that no one wanted to claim after the divorce. But woman can be just as guilty of this.

No one could ever know what they're getting into when they have children. The lifelong commitment, the love, the responsibility. And anyone who enters into the state too lightly deserves a good old fashioned wake-up call: It's not about you anymore.

/rant

Flu-steria

I'm sick, and it's not the flu. Well it is, in a sense. I'm sick of hearing about the flu.

Before I had kids, I got a flu shot when they were available. If they were out, I didn't worry. I'm young. I'm healthy.

Once I had children, the recommendation changed. It was more important to get the shot, and I've conscientiously done that every year.

Except this year. The world is in a panic. That milder, less of a threat flu that no one was prepared for last year, has turned into the germ equivalent of Armageddon. There's nary a flu shot to be had in Kansas, which leaves my toddler one shot shy of the two recommended doses for children under two.

Fine. We're careful, we keep our kids home when they're sick, and the other kids at the preschool stay home when they're sick too. We're washing our hands more often, but it doesn't produce panic in my heart the way it does for some.

To answer a few questions that have been posed to me from those experiencing heart palpitations over this, consider this your open-ended response:

• No, I'm not going to hole up in your house if there's an outbreak. I think my house is just as safe as yours.

• No, I haven't called the pediatrician today to see if they have the swine flu yet. I'll get it when it's available, and I'll know they have it because IT WILL SAY SO ON THEIR WEB SITE.

• Yes, I've heard some people are getting sick this year and they don't know what it is. I can tell you conclusively almost every time my kids have been sick I haven't been sure exactly what they had, because the symptoms are so generic: fever, vomiting, coughing, etc. Most of the time it doesn't need a physician's intervention so I don't worry about it.

Bottom line: If you're freaking out, I'm not joining your hysteria hour. I'd rather have a glass of wine. But really, knock yourself out.

OK, grumpiness over. Feel free to resume your normal programming, and sorry for the rant.