Just say no

I dislike saying no to a project. As a freelancer, my work comes sporadically; I can have a week or two so intense I barely sleep. These peaks are typically followed by valleys of near thumb twiddling. I so fear the slow weeks, I tend to over-commit. Oh, you've done that too?

Why do we feel like we need to take on so much? I know my limitations, but I tend to turn a blind eye to them. I always - won't I ever learn? - paint a much rosier picture than reality turns out to be. So, my goal is to be choosier. I will do less, which means I'll make less. But more importantly, I'll sleep more and spend time with my family. Hmm, maybe that's what they mean by discriminating taste.

Lunchbox losers

Did you know some lunchboxes have lead in them? Other problem toxins are phthalates and BPA. In your child's lunchbox.

So what's a parent to do? Find web sites that offer chemical-free options. Here are four options:

www.reusablebags.com
www.organize.com (type in lead free lunch box)
www.amazon.com (type in lead free lunch box)
http://www.potterybarnkids.com/shop/k/kids-gear/index.cfm?cm_type=lnav (currently offering free shipping)

It wasn't me

I have two kids. I expect them to take responsibility for their actions. This is central to my ideals both as a parent and as a responsible adult: Everyone makes mistakes but those who are willing to own up - and claim the mishap as their own - win my loyalty. It's not easy to admit failure. My Type A personality doesn't like being wrong. Ever. But I am, and I have to admit it - to myself and to whomever else is involved - if I'm going to make things right. Or at least better.

Apology Nation made me think about how few of our public figures are willing to take responsibility when they make a mistake. Can you name three? OK, how about just one person willing to say it's my fault?

No. What you hear instead is bickering, fighting not for a stand but for who to blame when something isn't going well. Take the health care "debate." There isn't any debating going on, but there sure is a lot of finger pointing.

I have one very important question: How am I supposed to teach my kids to take ownership of a situation if all they see adults doing is passing the blame?

Apology nation

So sorry. Two little words, a phrase we probably all learned before we turned 2. They can be hard words to say, but so often they're tossed around in a fashion that obscures their meaning. The lady at the grocery store who nudges you out of the way and says it carelessly over her shoulder. The kid who pushes her brother off the slide and throws out a sorry to avoid the stern lecture from her anxious eyed parent.

I think if we said it a little less often we'd all feel it had greater meaning. But it seems our culture is moving more quickly into a world that takes quick offense. And it makes it much harder to teach lessons about humility, respect, and forgiveness to our children.

I tend to worry too much about what others think. I'm constantly censoring myself because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And when I do speak out, I spend a lot of time worrying about what others think about me—and my opinion.

So here's my call today—let's all spend a little less time judging, a little more time extending that benefit of the doubt, and try to respect others' feelings and opinions. There's much more beauty in a world filled with a variety of opinions, even if they don't match our own ideas and values. Because, without it, how else do we learn?

Potting training gone awry

What to do when a child decides she's not interested in using the toilet? Did I mention she's been able to use the potty for over a year? When she wants to, of course.

Control. What's more heady to a preschooler? What can your three-your-old (or four-year-old) say no to today? It's a learning process. For both of us. Let's just hope the thrill of being a big kid soon outweighs the need to be the boss.

Fight or flight

I've got a buzz going and it's not from coffee this morning. I haven't had a drop ... yet. It's that extra boost of energy you get when your plate is so full there's no time for anything else.

Have you ever had that tingly sensation and been stymied? You have a ton to do but the stars don't align? In my case, I'm praying for good kiddie karma today. Long naps, happy play next to me while I'm working on projects. Then, as soon as I'm finished, some fantastically fun adventure. Got any suggestions?

But first, about that coffee ...

Queen of the house

"Who's Mess" started me thinking ... A man's house is his castle, right? So that makes his wife the ... housekeeper?

Wait, that's not how the fairytale goes. But ask yourself this: When you notice a ring around the bathtub at a friend's house, do you automatically think, 'Wow, her husband's a bad housekeeper?'

Why not?

My husband will tackle any household task, from scrubbing toilets to laundry or cooking. But sometimes life gets busy. And I admit I'm a reluctant housekeeper. I'd much rather be going to the swimming pool and the zoo, writing and editing, eating lunch with friends. But a clean space is the most zen thing. It feels great to slip between clean sheets.

Between me and my husband, we can make an agreement that sometimes the dishes will wait. And I just can't control it if company drops by and thinks, 'Wow, she must be really lazy.' But I can resolve to never be so judgmental of my own friends.

Today, I promise to:
• Fold laundry only if I feel like it
• Do dishes if it strikes my fancy
• Cook if I feel hungry