Smoke signals

When you're a year old, sometimes it's hard to get your message across. Your verbal capacity is limited by your still developing mouth, but your thoughts and needs have advanced past the eat, cry, sleep stage.

We've used baby sign language with both of our little ones. It helps alleviate some of their frustration and makes them feel involved in the conversation.

But there are some messages are a little more difficult. Especially with situations like eating and nursing. Moira is slow to take up the fork, so to speak. She prefers a liquid diet freshly squeezed—by her—and the occasional cracker or stray cheerio to supplement.

I've talked to all of the experts: pediatrician, lactation consultants, and other moms. Bottom line: She's perfectly healthy and she'll get there if we continue to offer a variety of eating options.

But the last few days something has changed. She's been nibbling more off our plates—at the pediatrician's advice. She likes the portability of a cup of milk, and I'm feeling a little, well, full. My body went from nursing at 80 MPH to about 40. And I'm struggling to catch up emotionally. My little "I'm gonna nurse until you kick me off" child has suddenly shown a more independent streak than I suspected.

It's our job as parents to try to keep up with our kids. To offer them choices to help ease their transitions and encourage them to learn to make good decisions for themselves. And I'll be pulling out and dusting off my favorite books for Moira's next stages:

1. Sign with your Baby - Baby Sign Language (ASL) Learning Kit - Includes Book, VHS Video & Quick Reference Guide

2. The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition

3. Parenting with Love and Logic

Kiss and makeup

Our house is a little busy right now. My infant is mobile and my 3 year old never slows down. so it can be difficult to find time for a potty break, let alone a moment for things like doing my hair and makeup.

My solution? It's silly, but I do most of my grooming sitting in the living room floor. My daughter loves to play with my soft makeup brushes, and my son is intrigued by the sponge I use to remove my makeup. (He calls it SpongeBob.)

It's these little things that make our day run more smoothly. I'm no parenting expert, but there's one thing I find that consistently works. It's the get closer principle. My kids don't always need my full attention, although I try to give it often. But sometimes it's enough just to be right there. Sitting next to the baby when she plays with toys. Editing at the table while my son creates with Play Doh. Reading next to the tub as they splash each other in the bath.

Sometimes it's enough to just be present and available. I miss fewer special moments this way, but it also gives me a chance to do things for myself. And I can always jump in their games when their cuteness sucks me in.

What's for dinner?

For the past six years, I've struggled to find a delicious, nutritious answer to this question. Meal planning is not my forte. I like to cook - or I did before it became the nightly chore smack in the middle of the fussiest, whiniest time of my day. Without fail, 4 p.m. is the call to arms. The contest of wills that ensues is set in its choreography. My kids stomp over to me, faces set in the end-of-day sourness and demand, "What's for dinner?"

Most days I don't have a clue. I defrosted some chicken. I have a pizza crust and some sauce. There's pasta in the pantry. Somehow, each night, a meal makes its way to the table. But each night I think there must be an easier way. That's why I'm making a commitment to simplify those difficult meal time hours.

This week I will:
1. Plan seven days worth of meals... and stick to it
2. Use my crockpot at least once to free up the neediest hour of the day
3. Make at least one meal I truly enjoy - and not worry about small children's unsophisticated palates (and the complaining that will no doubt ensue)

What will you do for yourself today?

Why my kids benefit from a little less attention

Portia wrote a great post last week about taking a few moments for herself - in the form of a mocha. Personal time is necessary for continued sanity, especially if you're juggling a hectic schedule, and what mom isn't? But there's another area where kids benefit from a little less attention: parents' taking time to spend together as a couple.

Over the past five years, my husband and I have watched couple after couple collapse under the weight of their responsibilities: Work, kids' activities, housework, family obligations, exercising, and creating healthful meals all seem to trump couple time. The problem is a marriage is a complex relationship, and like any relationship, it needs to be nurtured. Every couple needs moments of connection, those small seemingly insignificant seconds of togetherness that keep the threads of a relationship tightly knit. Current research also shows that children benefit from parents whose relationships are happy. While that may seem like a no brainer, it's important for us to realize that taking a few minutes away from our kids may benefit them more in the long run.

My gifts to my marriage today are:
1. Take an hour to spend with only my husband.
2. Talk about something besides our kids and tomorrow's obligations.
3. Relax and enjoy the moment.