OK, I write this list with hesitation because the tables can be turned—too easily—but there are a few funny things men do that drive us, pardon the phrase, batshit crazy (like it's a far trip for me!) So for your entertainment here's a tongue-in-cheek look at a few nutty behaviors our menfolk sometimes exhibit:
1. Leave the laundry on top of the hamper—even when it's empty.
2. Tools must stay out until the completion of the project ... three months from now.
3. Must have remote/iPod/Blackberry/cell phone in hand and be fiddling with it during any conversation and insist they're listening ... then ask you to repeat yourself when you ask their opinion
4. Adjust the seat/steering wheel/mirror in the family car so you can't reach the peddles. A sister behavior to this is always tuning the car radio to sports. My blood pressure rises every time I start the car.
5. Can go to bed mad in the middle of a fight and wake up perfectly happy and wondering why you're upset the next morning. (Actually, shouldn't complain about this one. That's pretty easygoing, and a little pouting elicits a nice apology.)
6. Uses every pan in the house when they're cooking. Then becomes distracted by something on the TV or computer after dinner and forgets to clean up.
7. Clothes—his, the kid's—end up where ever they were taken off. If you're lucky enough that they decide to take them to the hamper, see No. 1.
8. Are always about 15 minutes later than they said they'd be. Then watch you impatiently if you've wisely waited to start dinner until they've actually arrived home.
9. Kibitz in the kitchen. I don't care how you like to do it. I'm cooking. Probably halfheartedly, but hey, it's on. There's still enough older sibling in me to get snarky if you offer advice.
10. Never smell a poopy diaper. Feces could be leaking down the child's leg, and they will swear you have a super sniffer and they never caught a whiff. On the plus side, a little prodding usually elicits an offer to change said poopy diaper.
Of course, all of these trespasses are highly exaggerated. As I like to say, you marry someone because the most annoying thing they do really doesn't bother you that much.
Now it's your turn. What about men—or women!—drive you nuts? All comments welcome.