Monday, June 22, 2009

Jon and Kate plus hate

If you've been out in the world at all the last few months, you've heard all of the lurid details of a couple's marriage after having twins and sextuplets. I've only caught an episode or two of their show, John and Kate Plus Eight, but the tension on the marriage has been apparent for a while to any casual observer of human nature.

The news broke tonight that the couple is separating. OK, fine. But, to quote basketball legend Roy Williams, it's really all about the kids.

A solid, happy marriage makes it much easier to parent--whether you have two kids or twenty. Marriages end for a number of reasons, but my heart hurts for Jon, Kate, and their eight children who now have the addition of even more challenges facing them.

No one can judge their personal lives, although the grisley headlines have certainly called into question every lurid detail of this couple's motives and decisions. But, in my novice perspective, I see at least one reason the couple struggled so.

Please don't take me at my word. Only Jon and Kate and really identify the reason their marriage failed. But I can say, from personal experience, a marriage needs attention to continue to thrive. Your love needs to be fed, and the best diet is love and affection. So if there's any gift you can give yourself, make sure it includes time to focus on yourself and your spouse. The greatest gift you can bestow upon your children is a happy, stable home life, whether you achieve that through marriage or separation. And I believe both are possible, if they're done in love.

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