Monday, June 15, 2009

Why my kids benefit from a little less attention

Portia wrote a great post last week about taking a few moments for herself - in the form of a mocha. Personal time is necessary for continued sanity, especially if you're juggling a hectic schedule, and what mom isn't? But there's another area where kids benefit from a little less attention: parents' taking time to spend together as a couple.

Over the past five years, my husband and I have watched couple after couple collapse under the weight of their responsibilities: Work, kids' activities, housework, family obligations, exercising, and creating healthful meals all seem to trump couple time. The problem is a marriage is a complex relationship, and like any relationship, it needs to be nurtured. Every couple needs moments of connection, those small seemingly insignificant seconds of togetherness that keep the threads of a relationship tightly knit. Current research also shows that children benefit from parents whose relationships are happy. While that may seem like a no brainer, it's important for us to realize that taking a few minutes away from our kids may benefit them more in the long run.

My gifts to my marriage today are:
1. Take an hour to spend with only my husband.
2. Talk about something besides our kids and tomorrow's obligations.
3. Relax and enjoy the moment.

1 comment:

  1. This is so true. And have you ever noticed you bicker less when you have a time-out from the kids for your marriage?

    And the three gifts you give can work in other ways. Three gifts for your marriage, but also three for your kids, three for your career ...

    It's tough for all of us to take a critical look at our lives, but if we spend a little time for self-examination—once a day, once a week, once a month—I think we can all find little areas for growth in all of our relationships.